Wood Signs
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 Home > Signs > Funny Signs



We are so pleased you have found our signs! We proudly hand make each and every one right here in Eau Claire, Wisconsin, using solid knotty pine and a smooth finish that is intended to look time worn. Choose from 35 background board colors! If you want a special lettering color you can do that too! It's so much fun to snazz up a room with a sign! We've been in the NY Times, on HGTV, and featured in many Country Business' Country Sampler magazines & home decor magazines! One editor says we have the best signs in the country!! We use a sealer but if placing outside in the direct elements, coat with an outdoor protectant spray. Signs have a routered opening in the back for hanging. Simply mount on two nails or screws positioned level side by side. All signs available in all of our old colors along with clear poly, butternut stain, and our dark walnut stain. Please see the color choice menu with each sign listed. Also refer to the pdf catalog page 2 for all colors. Our signs are great for any room in the home, office, and place of business. They make wonderful gifts for all occasions. Our customers tell us they switch them each season for fun decorating year round.

Click on the sign saying you are interested in. Up will come images and ordering details! Signs orders ship in 1-2 days
PLEASE READ!! Your sign/s order leaves our shop in 1-2 days. Then it is in the hands of Fed Ex Home Delivery, which in most cases is anywhere in the country from Wisconsin to you in 1-5 days (again, after the order leaves our shop) depending on how far away from us you are.

BOTTOM LINE: Your sign order will arrive to you in 3-7 days!!


The signs are all sorted into categories or popular themes.

ALL SIGNS LISTED ALPHABETICALLY WITH LINKS TO PURCHASE!

NEW: Now available as a color choice! Authentic antique Wisconsin barn wood!


NEW: You can also search for your sign here! Type in the general saying you are looking for and you will see results from what we offer. You can type in one 'theme' word such as LOVE or FAMILY add see all the signs we have! Click on the links to view the sign image.


Funny Signs
20 Percent Stud 80 Percent Muffin5651
5 Out Of 4 People Have A Problem With Fractions922
667 Evil And Then Some5708
A Day Without Sunshine Is Like Night921
A Diet Is A Selection Of Food That Makes Other People Lose Weight942
A fool and his money can throw one hell of a party!4119
A Man's Motto To Live By: Life Should Not Be A Journey To The Grave With The Intentions Of Arriving Safely In Attractive And Well Preserved Body, But Rather To Skid In Sideways. Cigar In One Hand Beer In The Other Body Thoroughly Used Up, Totally Worn Out And Screaming Woo Hoo! What A Ride!5880
A Woman Without A Man Is Like A Fish Without A Bicycle716
Adjust481
Any Woman Can Have The Body Of A 21 Year Old As Long As She Buys Him A Few Drinks First5731
Ask Not What Your Mother Can Do For You But Ask Only What You Can Do For Your Mother203
Attitude Problem391
Avid Indoorsman5642
Bassackwards212
Be Afraid..Be Very Afraid5609
Be Nice Or Go Away286
Bed & Breakfast ~ You make both4048
Behold: Fartacus5941
Beware Of Wife891
Black Sheep485
Boldly Going Nowhere600
Business Hours: We Are Open. We Are Open For Business Most Days About 8:30 Am. Some Days As Early As 7, But Occasionally As Late As 12:30 Or 1, But Usually Around 9 Unless It's Later. We Are Closed: We Close About 5 Or 6, Sometimes At 4. If All Hell Breaks out at home we close at 3. Occasionally we're open as late as 11:30 or 12 am, depending. Some afternoons, mornings, or entire days we aren't even here at all, but lately we've been open all the time, except when we're closed, but really we should be here then too, unless we left early.5830
Business Prayer For The Day: Dear God, May All Obstacles Be Cleared From My Path And Rivals Be Saddled With Setbacks. Thank You. Amen.5578
Can I Get Caller ID For The Voices In My Head?5709
Cancel My Subscription, I Don't Need Your Issues.631
Caution: You Are In The Whatever Zone5707
Changing The Toilet Paper Roll Does Not Cause Brain Damage205
Chaos, Panic, & Disorder. My Work Here Is Done601
Check Out Time: 185616
Coffee, Chocolate, Men...The Richer The Better750
Crazytown, USA215
Curmudgeon221
Dark Matter Made Me Do It5712
Deadlines Amuse Me622
Dear God, Deliver Us From Mondays5643
Deja Moo: The Feeling You've Heard This Bull Before5950
Denial Is My Happy Place5996
Diplomacy: The Art Of Letting Others Do It My Way603
Diva455
Do I Look Like A Freakin' People Person?!5039
Do Not Treat Me Any Differently Than You Would The Queen5614
Do You Really Want Me To Open Up My Can Of Bitch?!5945
Do You Really Want Me To Open Up My Can Of Whoop-Ass?!366
Do, Or Do Not. There Is No Try - Jedi Master Yoda5099
Domestically Disabled5579
Don't Mess With The Cooks Buns835
Drama Queen866
Dust Protects Furniture918
Dysfunction Junction331
Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway.5706
Empty Promises, Calculated Betrayal, Sociopathic Greed; Just Another Monday621
Errors Have Been Made Others Will Be Blamed241
Families Are Like Fudge, Mostly Sweet With A Few Nuts!4037
Five Tips For A Woman: 1 - It Is Important That A Man Helps You Around The House And Has A Job. 2 - It Is Important That A Man Makes You Laugh. 3 - It Is Important To Find A Man You Can Count On And306
For Every Action There Is An Equal And Opposite Government Program604
Frazzled356
Freshly Baked5929
Friends Are Forever, Guys Are Whatever5007
From There To Here, From Here To There, Funny Things Are Everywhere. ~ Dr. Seuss5974
Fughedaboutit846
Give Me Ambiguity Or Give Me Something Else626
Got Baseball?5029
Got Beer? 5008
Got Chocolate?5011
Got Favre?5026
Got Football?5027
Got Hoops?5012
Got Kids?5028
Got Latte?5010
Got Movies?5661
Got Music? 5580
Got Wine?5009
Grand Central Station (Lg)511
Grand Central Station (Sm)260
Happiness Is Finding Two Olives In Your Martini When You Are Hungry. ~ Johnny Carson5856
Happy Place5684
Having No Freckles Is Like Having No Stars In The Sky304
He Who Has The Fastest Cart Never Has A Bad Lie893
Hell Hath No Fury Like A Dad Who's Tools Are Missing5089
Holiday Inn961
Holla!5095
Home Is Where The Brownies Are5899
Home Is Where Your RV Is319
Honest Criticism Is Hard To Take, Particularly From A Relative, A Friend, An Acquaintance, Or A Stranger471
Housework, If You Do It Right, Will Kill You. ~ Erma Bombeck332
How Can I Control My Life If I Can't Control My Hair?906
I Can See Clearly Now My Brain Is Gone217
I Childproofed My House But They Managed To Get In Anywayk6052
I Didn't Ask To Be Princess But Hey..If The Crown Fits5047
I Didn't Ask To Be Queen But Hey, If The Crown Fits5719
I Didn't Do It308
I Do My Own Stunts620
I Don't Like To Commit Myself About Heaven And Hell..You See, I Have Friends In Both Places. ~ Mark Twain4026
I Dont Skinny Dip I Chunky Dunk545
I Feel A Sin Coming On5869
I Googled Myself And Found Nothing5740
I Have PMS And ESP That Makes Me A Bitch That Knows Everything5836
I Haven't Been Quite Right Since They Took My Blankie Away5735
I Keep Hitting The Escape Button But I'm Still Here5732
I Kiss Better Than I Cookk6037
I Know God Will Not Give Me Anything I Can't Handle. I Just Wish He Didn't Trust Me So Much5953
I Listen To The Voices In My Closet5698
I Listen To The Voices In My Jewelry Box5697
I Love The Nights I Can't Remember With The Friends I Can't Forget5654
I Only Have A Kitchen Because It Came With The House204
I Started Out With Nothing I Still Have Most Of It Left919
I Tried Being Good But I Got Bored5687
I Understand The Concepts Of Cooking And Cleaning..Just Not As To How They Would Apply To Me5992
I Want What I Want And I Want It Delivered!4018
I Was Wrong Once; I Thought I Made A Mistake920
I Went On A Diet. No Drinking. No Heavy Eating. In Fourteen Days I Lost 2 Weeks.5751
I'd Rather Be Riding My Scooter5959
I'll Have A Caf‚ Mocha, Vodka, Valium Latte To Go Please5951
I'm Kind Of A Big Deal5705
I'm Not Irish, But I Hope To Get Lucky!5794
I'm Not With Stupid Anymore760
I'm Only As Strong As The Girlfriends I Have, The Coctails I Drink, And The Hairspray I Use5846
I'm Schizophrenic And So Am I869
I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like Having You Here5640
I'm The Boss! My Wife Said I Could Be5656
I've Turned Procrastination Into An Art Form5734
If Assholes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport5972
If I Were You I'd Turn Back Now5607
If Idiots Grew On Trees, This Place Would Be An Orchard581
If It Has Tires Or Testicles It's Gonna Give You Trouble392
If It Weren't For The Last Minute Nothing Would Ever Get Done924
If The Shoe Fits, Buy It In Every Color618
If You Are Smoking In Here You Had Better Be On Fire721
If You Can't Say Anything Good About Someone, Sit Next To Me!5688
If You Can't Stand The Heat Don't Tickle The Dragon5535
If You Can't Stand The Heat, Don't Tickle The Dragon 5037
If You'd Met My Family You Would Understand5952
If Your Cell Phone Is Ringing In Here It Had Better Be A Direct Call From God!5955
Im So Far Behind I Think I'm In First926
Inner Peace Through Impulse Purchasing707
Irish Blessing: As You Slide Down The Banister Of Life May The Splinters Never Point The Wrong Way873
Is This The Rowdy Section5508
It Takes A Lot Of Talent To Get A Month Behind In One Day214
It Wasn't Me309
It's All About Me959
It's All About Me (sm)4038
It's All Fun And Games Till Someone Loses A Nut5015
It's Always Something ~ Gilda Radner386
It's Definitely A Bubble-Bath Day5038
It's Good To Be Queen825
Jenius826
Just Another Day In Paradise708
Just Another Day In Paradise (Lg)376
Just Deal.482
King Crabby Pants5938
Laundry.. Pretreat..Today ~ Sort....Tomorrow ~ Wash...Later ~ Dry... Soon ~ Fold...Maybe ~ Iron...Get Real359
Lead Me Not Into Temptation For I Can Find It Myself5741
Let The Good Times Roll5072
Let's Have An Ass Slappin' Good Time!5932
Life Is All About Ass; You're Either Covering It, Laughing It Off, Kicking It, Kissing It, Busting It, Trying To Get A Piece Of It, Behaving Like One, Or You Live With One4010
Make Good Choices311
Make Tea Not War ~ Monty Python476
Man Cave5943
Manure Happens466
Manure Occureth5005
Master Of My Domain5757
Meddle Thee Not In The Affairs Of Dragons For Thou Art Crunchy And Wouldst Be Tasty With Ketchup5973
Member Of The Hysterical Society474
Men Are From Mars Women Are From Visa5619
Middle Child475
Mirror Mirror On The Wall, What The Hell Happened?!5910
Money Isn't Everything (But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch)832
Money Talks, Mine Says Goodbye566
Motto To Live By: Life Should Not Be A Journey To The Grave With The Inention Of Arriving Safely In An Attractive And Well Preserved Body, But Rather To Skid In Sideways, Chocolate In One Hand, Margarita In The Other, Body Throroughly Used Up Totally Worn Out And Screaming Woo Hoo What A Ride!5064
Motto To Live By: Life Should Not Be A Journey To The Grave With The Intention Of Arriving Safely In An Attractive And Well Preserved Body, But Rather To Skid In Sideways, Chocolate In One Hand, Martini In The Other, Body Throroughly Used Up Totally Worn Out And Screaming Woo Hoo What A Ride!979
Motto To Live By: Life Should Not Be A Journey To The Grave With The Intention Of Arriving Safely In An Attractive And Well Preserved Body, But Rather To Skid In Sideways, Cowboy In One Hand, Horse In The Other, Body Throroughly Used Up Totally Worn Out And Screaming Woo Hoo What A Ride!5977
Motto To Live By: Life Should Not Be A Journey To The Grave With The Intentions Of Arriving Safely In An Attractive And Well Preserved Body, But Rather To Skid In Sideways, Chocolate In On Hand, Wine In The Other, Body Thoroughly Used Up Totally Worn Out And Screaming Woo Hoo What A Ride!743
Motto To Live By: Life Should Not Be A Journey To The Grave With The Intentions Of Arriving Safely In Attractive And Well Preserved Body, But Rather To Skid In Sideways, Body Thoroughly Used Up, Totally Worn Out And Screaming, Woo Hoo, What A Ride!5539
Motto To Live By: Life Should Not Be A Journey To The Grave With The Intentions Of Arriving Safely In Attractive And Well Preserved Body, But Rather To Skid In Sideways, Chocolate In On Hand, Beer In The Other, Body Thoroughly Used Up, Totally Worn Out617
Motto To Live By: Life Should Not Be A Journey To The Grave With The Intentions Of Arriving Safely In Attractive And Well Preserved Body, But Rather To Skid In Sideways, Chocolate In On Hand, Latte In The Other, Body Thoroughly Used Up, Totally Worn Out616
Motto To Live By: Life Should Not Be A Journey To The Grave With The Intentions Of Arriving Safely In Attractive And Well Preserved Body, But Rather To Skid In Sideways. Champagne In One Hand Chocolate In The Other Body Thoroughly Used Up, Totally Worn Out And Screaming Woo Hoo! What A Ride!5904
Motto To Live By: Life Should Not Be A Journey To The Grave With The Intentions Of Arriving Safely In Attractive And Well Preserved Body, But Rather To Skid In Sideways. Cigarette In One Hand Beer In The Other Body Thoroughly Used Up, Totally Worn Out And Screaming Woo Hoo! What A Ride!5898
Moxy Is Good5652
My Grandma Used It, My Mom Threw It, And I Bought It318
My House Is A Mess But My Homepage Looks Fantastic!5773
My Indian Name Is Running Tab5841
My Life Broken Down Into Segments Eating Sleeping Working Looking For Things I Had A Minute Ago5680
My Next Husband Will Be Normal833
My Therapist Says I'm In Denial. As If That Could Ever Happen5714
My Tools My Rules5840
Never Put Off Till Tomorrow What You Can Ignore Entirely606
No Coffee No Workee 5939
No Pissy Attitudes895
No Solicitation No Politics No Proselytizing No Fundraisers, Except Girl Scout Cookies Welcome!5868
No Vacancy300
No Whining301
Normal Around Here Is Just A Setting On The Dryer607
Now Play Nice303
Oh ***** It Let's Ride (With Motorcycle Graphic)5816
Oh Behave!310
Oh Sure..But What's The Speed Of Dark?!5615
Old Age Ain't For Sissies ~ Bette Davis598
Old Age And Treachery Always Triumph Over Youth And Skill837
Old School5534
On Hiatus233
One Out Of Four People In This Country Is Mentally Unbalanced. Think Of Your Three Closest Friends; If They Seem Ok, Then You're The One. ~ Ann Landers473
Ool..Notice There Is No P In Our Pool..Let's Keep It That Way5537
Oversharing Prohibited Do Not Want Hear It5066
P.M.S. Purchase More Shoes5004
Plays Well With Others894
Poker If You Haven't Spotted The Sucker In 20 Minutes, It's You.5086
Port Of Indecision495
Powered By Caffine752
Press This Button For Maid Service. If No Answer - Do It Yourself619
Prozac Schmozac. Haven't These People Ever Heard Of A Martini? ~ Murray567
Put On Your Big Girl Panties & Deal With It317
Queen Crabby Pants5710
Quitcherbellyachin841
Remember As Far As Everyone Else Is Concerned, We Are A Nice Normal Family5608
Retirement: Twice As Much Husband, Half As Much Money472
Rolling With My Gnomies4005
Rumpus Room279
Sarcasm Just One More Service I Offer5700
Save It For Your Blog5829
Searching For An Enabler5713
Seize Tomorrow843
Slow! Grandparents At Play870
Slow! Sasquatch Crossing629
So Many Shoes So Little Time5518
Someday My Ship Will Come In (I'm Sure I'll Be At The Airport)868
Sometimes I Wake Up Grumpy, Other Times I Let Him Sleep736
Speak your mind, but ride a fast horse!4052
Stop Global Whining5599
Talk Nerdy To Me5733
The Ass Family: Smart - Wise - Kiss - Sassy - Stink610
The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves839
The Best Way To Forget All Your Troubles Is To Wear Tight Shoes5914
The Cow Died So I Don't Need Your Bull!533
The History Of Jack Schitt526
The Older I Get The Better I Was974
The Only Thing More Overrated Than Natural Childbirth Is The Joy Of Owning Your Own Business.4019
The Queen Is Not Accepting An Audience Today801
The Queen Is Not Amused569
The Queen Of Everything715
The Right Shoes Can Change Your Life ~ Cinderella5517
The Single Biggest Problem With Communication Is The Illusion That It Has Taken Place.4020
The Voices Don't Like You5775
The Voices Told Me To Buy It5738
The Voices Told Me To Buy More Shoes5737
The Voices Wanted Me To Call In Sick Today5785
The Voices Won't Let Me Diet5776
There Can Not Be A Crisis This Week. My Schedule Is Full5625
There's A Pill For That5720
Things Our Mothers Taught Us 21 Humorous Anecdotes Vertical5091
This Mess Is A Place546
Thou Shalt Not Whine608
To Err Is Human. To Really Foul Things Up Requires A Computer463
Today's Menu: Take It Or Leave It609
Tomorrow Is Often The Busiest Day Of The Year. ~ Spanish Proverb5582
Unattended Children Will Be Given An Espresso And A Free Puppy394
Unruly Children Will Cheerfully Be Fed To The Trolls630
Vendi Vidi Visa.. I Came I Saw I Shopped5036
Vendi, Vidi, Velcro - I came, I saw, I stuck around.4039
Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship927
We May Not Have It All Together, But Together We Have It All289
We Put The Fun In Dysfunctional395
We'll Always Be Best Friends…Because You Know Too Much!4036
Welcome Friends..Relatives By Appointment5564
Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History500
What Ever!5605
What Happens In The Garage Stays In The Garage5527
What Happens In The Mountains Stays In The Mountains5538
What Happens In The Salon, Stays In The Salon328
What Happens In The Tiki Hut Stays In The Tiki Hut231
What Happens On The Porch Stays On The Porchk6038
What I Really Need Are Minions5699
What If The Hokey Pokey Is What It's All About (Lg)964
What If The Hokey Pokey Is What It's All About?338
What If The Hokey Pokey Is What It's All About?! New Design5571
What It Is5053
What It Isn't5054
What The World Really Needs Is More Love, Less Paperwork ~ Pearl Bailey877
What We Have Here Is A Failure To Communicate ~ The Warden989
What We Have Here Is A Failure To Give A Shit5533
Where's The Remote?!5717
Who Left Me In Charge Of The Royal Sceptor?!5696
Whoever Said Money Can't Buy Happiness Didn't Know Where To Shop.568
With Luck And Planning, I'll Retire At 149623
Woo Hoo!925
Woot! Woot!5060
Word.5096
Work With Me People.5080
Ya Think?!5059
You Can Agree With Me Or You Can Be Wrong722
You Don't Have To Be Crazy To Work Here. We'll Train You5632
You Go Girl262
You May Call Me Lord & Master5633
You Mess With Me, You Mess With The Whole Trailer Park5715
Your Husband Called And Said It's Ok To Buy Anything You Want723

Wood Signs


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