You Might Be A Nurse If. . .You've ever had a patient look you dead in the eye and say, I don't know how that got stuck there. You firmly believe that too stupid to live should be a diagnosis. You don't believe 90% of what you're told and 75% of what you see. You believe every waiting room should have a Valium salt lick. You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce. You believe the problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.